Mythopoeia by J.R.R. Tolkien

Philomythus to Misomythus
You look at trees and label them just so,
(for trees are 'trees', and growing is 'to grow');
you walk the earth and tread with solemn pace
one of the many minor globes of Space:
a star's a star, some matter in a ball
compelled to courses mathematical
amid the regimented, cold, inane,
where destined atoms are each moment slain.

At bidding of a Will, to which we bend
(and must), but only dimly apprehend,
great processes march on, as Time unrolls
from dark beginnings to uncertain goals;
and as on page o'er-written without clue,
with script and limning packed of various hue,
an endless multitude of forms appear,
some grim, some frail, some beautiful, some queer,
each alien, except as kin from one
remote Origo, gnat, man, stone, and sun.
God made the petreous rocks, the arboreal trees,
tellurian earth, and stellar stars, and these
homuncular men, who walk upon the ground
with nerves that tingle touched by light and sound.
The movements of the sea, the wind in boughs,
green grass, the large slow oddity of cows,
thunder and lightning, birds that wheel and cry,
slime crawling up from mud to live and die,
these each are duly registered and print
the brain's contortions with a separate dint.
Yet trees are not 'trees', until so named and seen
and never were so named, tifi those had been
who speech's involuted breath unfurled,
faint echo and dim picture of the world,
but neither record nor a photograph,
being divination, judgement, and a laugh
response of those that felt astir within
by deep monition movements that were kin
to life and death of trees, of beasts, of stars:
free captives undermining shadowy bars,
digging the foreknown from experience
and panning the vein of spirit out of sense.
Great powers they slowly brought out of themselves
and looking backward they beheld the elves
that wrought on cunning forges in the mind,
and light and dark on secret looms entwined.

He sees no stars who does not see them first
of living silver made that sudden burst
to flame like flowers bencath an ancient song,
whose very echo after-music long
has since pursued. There is no firmament,
only a void, unless a jewelled tent
myth-woven and elf-pattemed; and no earth,
unless the mother's womb whence all have birth.
The heart of Man is not compound of lies,
but draws some wisdom from the only Wise,
and still recalls him. Though now long estranged,
Man is not wholly lost nor wholly changed.
Dis-graced he may be, yet is not dethroned,
and keeps the rags of lordship once he owned,
his world-dominion by creative act:
not his to worship the great Artefact,
Man, Sub-creator, the refracted light
through whom is splintered from a single White
to many hues, and endlessly combined
in living shapes that move from mind to mind.
Though all the crannies of the world we filled
with Elves and Goblins, though we dared to build
Gods and their houses out of dark and light,
and sowed the seed of dragons, 'twas our right
(used or misused). The right has not decayed.
We make still by the law in which we're made.

Yes! 'wish-fulfilment dreams' we spin to cheat
our timid hearts and ugly Fact defeat!
Whence came the wish, and whence the power to dream,
or some things fair and others ugly deem?
All wishes are not idle, nor in vain
fulfilment we devise -- for pain is pain,
not for itself to be desired, but ill;
or else to strive or to subdue the will
alike were graceless; and of Evil this
alone is deadly certain: Evil is.

Blessed are the timid hearts that evil hate
that quail in its shadow, and yet shut the gate;
that seek no parley, and in guarded room,
though small and bate, upon a clumsy loom
weave tissues gilded by the far-off day
hoped and believed in under Shadow's sway.

Blessed are the men of Noah's race that build
their little arks, though frail and poorly filled,
and steer through winds contrary towards a wraith,
a rumour of a harbour guessed by faith.

Blessed are the legend-makers with their rhyme
of things not found within recorded time.
It is not they that have forgot the Night,
or bid us flee to organized delight,
in lotus-isles of economic bliss
forswearing souls to gain a Circe-kiss
(and counterfeit at that, machine-produced,
bogus seduction of the twice-seduced).
Such isles they saw afar, and ones more fair,
and those that hear them yet may yet beware.
They have seen Death and ultimate defeat,
and yet they would not in despair retreat,
but oft to victory have tuned the lyre
and kindled hearts with legendary fire,
illuminating Now and dark Hath-been
with light of suns as yet by no man seen.

I would that I might with the minstrels sing
and stir the unseen with a throbbing string.
I would be with the mariners of the deep
that cut their slender planks on mountains steep
and voyage upon a vague and wandering quest,
for some have passed beyond the fabled West.
I would with the beleaguered fools be told,
that keep an inner fastness where their gold,
impure and scanty, yet they loyally bring
to mint in image blurred of distant king,
or in fantastic banners weave the sheen
heraldic emblems of a lord unseen.

I will not walk with your progressive apes,
erect and sapient. Before them gapes
the dark abyss to which their progress tends
if by God's mercy progress ever ends,
and does not ceaselessly revolve the same
unfruitful course with changing of a name.
I will not treat your dusty path and flat,
denoting this and that by this and that,
your world immutable wherein no part
the little maker has with maker's art.
I bow not yet before the Iron Crown,
nor cast my own small golden sceptre down.

In Paradise perchance the eye may stray
from gazing upon everlasting Day
to see the day illumined, and renew
from mirrored truth the likeness of the True.
Then looking on the Blessed Land 'twill see
that all is as it is, and yet made free:
Salvation changes not, nor yet destroys,
garden nor gardener, children nor their toys.
Evil it will not see, for evil lies
not in God's picture but in crooked eyes,
not in the source but in malicious choice,
and not in sound but in the tuneless voice.
In Paradise they look no more awry;
and though they make anew, they make no lie.
Be sure they still will make, not being dead,
and poets shall have flames upon their head,
and harps whereon their faultless fingers fall:
there each shall choose for ever from the All.

The Cat and the Convertable, a Year in Review.

Guess what, I didn't really forget about this thing. I thought I would do post on what has happened this past year and why my plans for the Appalachian Trail are on hold for now.

I'll start with my vehicle situation. For a while, I have have had two vehicles, a Ford Explorer and a Jaguar. I've had the Explorer since college and it had been a a very reliable car. Not long after I moved back to South Carolina, I decided to upgrade my vehicle and found a really on a Jaguar. I had never owned anything like that and this happened to be a really good deal so I bought it. Also, it helped that I was living with my parents at the time so I didn't have much in the way of bills. I had been planning on selling the Explorer soon after I got the Jaguar but I wound up paying off the Jaguar fairly quickly so by the time I moved out, I had two cars with no car payments. When I started considering thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail, I thought about selling one car so I would have the necessary funds.

However, I started learning that the true price of a luxury car is the price of repairs. Both cars were starting to show signs that soon, they would be need expensive repairs, particularly the Jaguar. I decided, then, it was time for a change in vehicles. What kind should I get though? What I would really want is 4WD Jeep Wrangler with a removable top and automatic transmissions, but it's not easy to find one that is affordable and low mileage. So it came down to deciding between one of two things I would like to have: a four-wheel drive vehicle or a convertible. I decided I would like to own a convertible at least once in my life. While talking to the dealer that I bought my last two cars from, he mentioned he would be getting a hard top convertible at an affordable price and now I have my new car. While it was a decent price, I still had to take out a small loan and now have car payments. This means until it's paid off, I cannot go six months without working; therefore, a long thru-hike is out for the moment.

Since I now knew it would be a few years before I could even think about my thru-hike, I began thinking about adding a pet. I have been living by myself for a few years now and thought that a companion would be a good idea. I talked in a previous post about how I grew with dogs. A dog would be difficult to keep couped up in a small apartment, especially when I sometimes work long days. I have never had one before because of my sister's severe allergies. I figured have be a new experience. I hadn't really starting looking much when I told my parents I was considering getting one. It wasn't much that my mom said a coworker was wanting to give one away. The cat was an adult female and was already fixed and came with a litter box and food dishes and, best of all, was free. One of her previous owners had named her Rogue. I don't know if that was based off the comic book character or what but I didn't think it was a bad name and couldn't think of anything better so I went. Rogue has turned out to be a rather affectionate cat rather easy to care for which makes her perfect for someone like me. Of course, unlike many dogs, you can't really hike with a cat. If I go for a long backpacking trip, I would have to find someone to temporarily care for her during that time, since, now that I have her, I don't intend to give her up.

Finally, I received some unexpected news late in the summer. My landlady was going to sell her house, and my apartment happened to be a part of that house. My apartment was one of a few attached to the house. She was originally going to try an sell it with us still there and it would be up to the new owner to decide if they would continue our lease. However, she decided she was going to renovate everything before she sold which meant I was have to find a new place. Finding a new place in a location not too far from home that is decent and that I can afford. Also, now I have a cat so they have to accept pets. I probably would not have gotten the cat if I knew this was coming but like I said before, now that I had her, was not giving her up. I finally found a place and I suppose I'll be there for the next year since that's what my lease is for.

Going forward now it will be a while before I can do a thru-hike. Pretty much, it's hard to do much more than a weekend for now. While this is something I still want to do, it does mean it might be a few years. I do need to move forward in other areas of life so I'm now strongly considering going back to school. My current leaning is to study atmospheric science at the University of North Carolina in Asheville. Of course, I do not know the path God has laid out for me but I hope there is a place in there for me to do not only a thru-hike of the Appalachian Trial, but also the Pacific Crest Trail and maybe even the Continental Divide Trail. We shall see.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

By Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.   

His house is in the village though;   

He will not see me stopping here   

To watch his woods fill up with snow.   

My little horse must think it queer   

To stop without a farmhouse near   

Between the woods and frozen lake   

The darkest evening of the year.   

He gives his harness bells a shake   

To ask if there is some mistake.   

The only other sound’s the sweep   

Of easy wind and downy flake.   

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.   

But I have promises to keep,   

And miles to go before I sleep,   

And miles to go before I sleep.

Christmas time is here

Happiness and cheer
Fun for all the children call
their favorite time of year.

Sorry, I get that song stuck in my head.  Anyway, I haven't posted anything in a while, so I might as well update it now.  I knew when I started this thing, there would be long periods of time with no updates because I couldn't think of anything to talk about and my general forgetfulness.  Anyway, it's Christmas time and I should probably get started on my Christmas shopping.  It goes without saying that this is a unique time of year.  Some love this time of year, while others.. not so much.  I am of the former group.  Despite some of the stress involved with it and my hatred of shopping amongst heavy crowds, there is a certain emotional attachment to this time of year that I enjoy.  Part of that is that I still carry over some of that excitement from being a kid (as I'm sure many do).  The other part is that I remember what it is we truly should be celebrating. 

I discussed last year about why family is a part of that for me and for some, this is a negative part of Christmas.  I'm not a psychologist nor have I done any research on this topic.  However, I do think loneliness is another part of what many do not like about this time of year.  There is something about this time of year that seems to increase depression and loneliness in some people.  I say this (and I'm preaching to myself as well) so that we might remember that this can be a difficult time of year for a lot of people.  It's so easy to get caught up in our own everyday lives that we do not see the difficulties of others.  The flip side of this is, of course, to remember that Christmas time isn't the only time to show compassion.  As a Christian, I know the Bible is very clear on the matter of compassion. 

Anyway, that is my rambling on Christmas.  The other thing about this time of year is that the end of the year is approaching.  I'll try to but up another post later on this subject but 2012 hasn't been fruitful as I would've hoped.  As I am not privy to the future, I do not know what next year will bring and I do not know what God's will for the future will bring.  There are some things I feel I need to do and some changes likely coming next year, one way or another.  However, I'll try and talk about this more at a later time including the subject I orginally started this blog to talk about: the Appalachian Trail.

For now here is that song that got in my head.

P.S. What are the chances I actually post again before the end of the year?

A New Post or Something...

It's been a while since I've last paid attention to me blog so I thought I'd look at.  Even though this blog doesn't have a lot of posts, it's still interesting for me to look back every-so-often at what I have posted.  I don't really have to much to say right now but I thought I add a new entry since it's been so long.  I love this time of year (although I hated it as a kid for obvious reasons).  The temperature has dropped a bit and it feels great outside.  Football has started up and baseball is working its way toward the playoffs. 

However, not all is well.  My current job is growing more and more frustrating.  While I've mostly been very neutral about this job, added stress without added compensation is moving the job into and active dislike.  I find myself beginning to dread going in on many days.  I know there is an eventual end to it coming, it seems far away.  I'm hoping things change so I can make it to the end of this, but I can be patient.  It won't be too much longer.  Anyway, when I get a free chance, I need to drive down to Springer Mountain just to see it.  Hopefully, soon...

It's Time to Get Back at it

I haven't posted about backpacking in a while (or really anything in the last couple of months), but it seems more and more that I need to get back to my goal.  My original plan was to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail this year but my backpacking trip on the Foothills trail last fall made me think that I needed some more experience.  For a month or so after my trip, I didn't really think much about it at all or even go hiking, having been temporarily satisfied.  This, however, would not last.  Thanks, in part, to an unusually mild winter, by January, the desire to be out in the woods returned to me.  As Spring got here, my plan now was to take more backpacking trips on the occasional long weekend that my job would allow me.  However, these did not come as frequently as before,  Eventually, I was moved to a new position that once again gave me every weekend off but no longer could I get long weekends.  Since time off is hard to get, this means that I will have to plan shorter trips but a backpacking trip that last several days will be difficult. 

Also during the past few months, I have been continuing to search for a job as a park ranger; however, my efforts here have been fruitless.  Is it that this particular career is not in God's will for me or just not at this time?  The answer to this I do not know right now but if the former is the case, then I will go in a new direction.  I do know this, if I found a job as a ranger right now, it would likely derail my plans for thru-hiking the AT since I would be at a job then that I wouldn't want to leave for six months.  Of course, returning to school is always an option as there are several other areas that interest me, most notably is meteorology.

For now though, if nothing changes, I'm back to planning for the trail which I thought would be this year; now it's 2013.  The challenges ahead are ones that will test my will and my faith.  I took a small step with my first backpacking trip last November, but there is much larger ones to take.  The physical aspect is only one small part of the test of a long distance hike.  My understanding is the harder part is the monotony of doing the same thing day after day and trying to not tired of the freeze-dried food for several days in a row between towns.  This will also give me time to reflect on many things and hopefully time to focus more effort to listening to God.  Although, being alone will probably not be a problem during much of this considering the time I plan to do this trip.  There will be many others attempting the same task as me for many different reasons.  Most, like me, will start in early spring in Georgia, but statistics show that less than a quarter will make it to Maine.  God willing, I will be in that percentage that does.  The journey began long before I ever step foot on the trail in preparing myself physically and mentally for what I will encounter.  The challenges ahead will be difficult not only for me but for my family as well who tend to worry.  Regardless of what happens, I'm ready for something new.  I've waited long enough; it's time work toward my goals regardless of what challenges lie ahead.

"Let's Go!"

I've mentioned before about living near some woods and how I enjoyed walking through these woods.  I also lived within walking distance of my grandparents in one direction and my aunt and uncle in another.  We moved to this house when I was either 8 or 9 years old.  By the time we moved in, we had a dog, an Eskimo Spitz, named Foxy.  We got her while we were living in another house but she was living with my grandparents while we were living in an apartment while the house was being built.  Foxy remained outside and unpinned most of the time.  She was smart enough to know where she should and shouldn't go.  Particularly, she knew to stay away from the dangerous road.  She was also very protective, of me especially.   This would be a problem when she would remind visitors of this with a quick bite to the ankles.  However, she never would never seriously hurt anyone and I could always could count on her to go with me where ever I roamed.

Not long after we moved, my sister decided to get a new puppy.  It was a mix of German Shepard and Collie named Franky.  Foxy, having had puppies herself before, pretty much adopted Franky as her own.  He grew into a rather large but extremely laid back dog.  While he was not as protective as Foxy, he would also follow me where ever I went.  Eventually, I trained them to know when I'm walking somewhere and to follow me by saying, "Foxy, Franky, let's go!"  They would then immediately get up and start going in whatever direction it looked like I was going in.  Foxy would typically stay close to my side while Franky would go a little bit ahead of me.  Whether I was going to my grandparents, my aunt and uncle's, or the wondering through the woods, they were going to be there with me.  I never had that many friends but those two I knew I could count on to always be there.   The trick could be to get them not to follow me when I didn't want them but at least they knew enough not to follow me to the increasingly busy, Woodruff Road.

Of course, the lifespan of dogs is not very much when compared to our own.  Foxy was a very old dog by the time she died during my senior year of high school.  Franky took it the hardest and disappeared for few days before finally being discovered in an animal shelter.  My sister bought my mom a new dog we call Blue due to his one blue eye.  We thought he was a Sheltie.  I say "we thought" because he wound up growing into a full-sized collie.  While he was very intelligent, he never learned where he shouldn't wander to so he had to be kept pinned up.  This was very apparent when the church next door decided to keep their doors open for one Sunday morning service and he walked right in.  Still, he would follow me whenever I walked anywhere much like Franky and he would stay near as long as me or someone else was outside.

Unfortunately, the woods were disappearing more and more as time passed.  The two churches nearby where growing and needed the room.  While the churches growing like they were was no bad thing, I did miss my woods.  Also, age had finally caught up to Franky and he too died.  My family eventually moved away from that house when the church needed our land to grow more.  Blue seemed to not mind the new setting and had grown into an extremely obedient dog, always eager to please.  I had never even seen him angry except for one time when another finally annoyed him to the point of snapping at the other dog.  No one could blame Blue for that one either.

I share the story of the dogs I grew up with because Blue recently had to be put to sleep because of extensive health problems.  These dogs have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember even though I haven't lived at home in a while.  I currently live in an apartment where owning a dog would be difficult.  Perhaps I will do something different and get a cat as my next pet.  I never could have a cat growing up because of my sister's allergies. Anyway, regardless of the future, these three dogs I talked about here were an important part of my childhood and my growing up.  Their companionship was invaluable.  The memories they provided will be with me the rest of my life.  I can only hope if I have children, they can have friends as good as they were.